Michael Bay confirms Ninja Turtles title

Good news for anyone struggling to enunciate the words “teenage” and “mutant”, as Michael Bay has confirmed the upcoming Turtles movie will simply be titled Ninja Turtles .

The producer took to his official website once more to respond to angry fans, assuring them for a second time that the franchise is in good hands.

“Paramount marketing changed the name,” he begins. “They made the title simple. The characters you all remember are exactly the same, and yes they still act like teenagers. Everything you remember, why you liked the characters, is in the movie.”

“This script is being developed by two very smart writers, with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles . They care VERY MUCH about making this film for the fans. Everyone on this team cares about the fans. Just give them a chance. Jonathan [ Liebesman ] the director, is a major fan of the whole franchise. HE’S NOT GOING TO LET YOU DOWN.”

You see, two words are much easier to say than four, so calling it Ninja Turtles is a good thing! Is it just us, or does Bay’s tone come across as a mite patronising to the fans who will swell his production company’s coffers?

In any case, Ninja Turtles (wow, that is easy to remember) is expected to arrive on 25 December 2013. Plenty of time for Bay to wind up the fans still further, then…

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