E3 2011: The silliest gesticulations from the Microsoft Press Conference

With rumors running hot that Nintendo’s new console will utilize a more traditional controller, we assumed Microsoft would play down some of the sillier aspects of Kinectivity. Quite the opposite! TheXbox press conference (opens in new tab)relentlessly bombarded gamers with Kinect enabled features throughout.

Above: Use the air, like you just don’t care

And while the press conference kicked off with some interesting voice-controlled implementations, such as controlling Xbox TV (opens in new tab)and deploying squads inMass Effect 3 (opens in new tab), it eventually unspooled many laughably out-dated aspects of motion controlled wackiness that we’d just assumed the world had moved past. Rather than pretend it never happened, we decided to highlight thedepths playerscan sink to whentheir body becomes the controller.

Above: FREEZE! Hands in the air, maggots… It’s time for Disneyland Adventures!

Above: Before loading certain Kinect games,players will be required to salute Bill Gates

Above: While enjoying Fable: The Journey, please feel free to perfect your fly fishing cast “She’s a beauty!”

Above: Perform any endzone dance you like,just mindyour internalDignity Meter

Above: Ghost Recon: Future Soldier weapon customization, or pantomiming every Creed video?

Above: In Kinect Star Wars, you’ll perform a force push… wait, this is how you fire in Ghost Recon?!

Above: Ah, here’s Star Wars. Which apparently features motion-sensored Girl punches

Above: If you were wondering what the Kinect version of Wii wagglewould be, look no further

Above: Tae Bo made a huge comeback in Dance Central 2

Above: “No, youda Werewolf!”

Above: This is Kinect, kids. You best leave that kinda shit on the Wii Balance Board

Above: You are not worthy to look uponXbox TV (opens in new tab)! LOOK AWAY, FEMALE!

Above: Kinect Sports: Season 2 featured seasoned dochebags performing as jock stereotypes that made even nerds wince

Above: Levels inSesame Street: Once Upon a Monster (opens in new tab)will conclude with an 80’s high-five freeze frame

BONUS READER SUBMISSION: ThanksSam (opens in new tab)

Above: Submitted byJJ_UY (opens in new tab)via Reddit (opens in new tab)

Jun 6, 2011

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